I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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