I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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