Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
