i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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