THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sorry my hands just texted you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
