If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
