So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
