I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize