Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
