So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
