Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
