So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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