why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
