I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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