i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
