im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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