Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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