The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The feeling are messing with the penis
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
