How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
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I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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