In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
