at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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