I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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