Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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