The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
