The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
