Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize