Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize