i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize