I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
