I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
