im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
