I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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