Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize