She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got inside last night via doggy door
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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