The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
