Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
