I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
