I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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