it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
