At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
