escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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