i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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