Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
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Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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