I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
