But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
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When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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