i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
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"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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