Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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