Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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