in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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