i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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