I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
