But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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