New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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