After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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