She's JV to your varsity
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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