this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Every concussion has its silver lining
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
