YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
