Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
