He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
