i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize