I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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