wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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