is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
