Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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