we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
